We’ve reached the last of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:  #10 The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

Women don’t need to feel like they are glorifying God less by being women.  God is not surprised with how He made us and sometimes He is glorified uniquely by a woman’s obedience.  The extent to which the world’s population is female, that is the very degree to which He desires to receive glory by their obedience.

The number one thing any Christian woman can do is to seek God in order to obey Him.

Only by knowing and doing the will of God will we glorify Him in all we do.  So whether God has gifted you with the freedom of singleness, the joys of marriage, the responsibilities of motherhood, or seasons during which you experience a variety of these things in womanhood, do it well.  Obey God because the Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

Research:

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. 5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. 9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit– fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

Reflect:

• What does this Scripture say about bearing fruit?
• How does any woman or man bear fruit?
• How does bearing fruit look to God like glory and look to people like a litmus test for discipleship?
• In what ways are love and obedience connected?

Respond:

Are you a man?  Find ways to encourage the women in your life in their God-given callings.  They glorify Christ when they are obedient to Him.  Pray about whether there are any ways you are standing between a woman in your life and her calling from God.  If there are ways you can coach or encourage her in Christ when the journey is hard, it would help her to remain obedient when doubts arise.  Your help to her glorifies Christ because it affirms that His glory is paramount.

Are you a woman?  Be obedient at all times.  To God, certainly!  To the men in your life, show them respect and honor.  Treat them as you would wish to be treated and as brothers in your family.  Are there men in your life who do not know Jesus?  Are there men who disagree with what you’re doing?  Be patient in winning them over.  Culture is stacked against them in many of the same ways it is stacked against you.  God wants you to bear fruit and therefore, ask God to remove any obstacles in the way of fruitful service to Him.  Don’t give in to the traps of the culture.  Obedience to Christ–in spite of opposition–brings Him greater glory.  It’s a greater sacrifice of love.  Keep focused on Him.

Are you a pastor?  Teach about obedience and model it.  If you’re a married pastor, have you openly talked with your wife about her calling from God and taught other married men to do likewise with their wives?  If her obedience to Christ would mean expanding your view of pastors’ wives and their roles; if it would mean pressing into the opposition against her in order to teach all of us how obedience perseveres through trials; if it would mean standing up to men and women in your church who would stand in the way of her obedience to Christ, then are you prepared to walk with her, loving her as Christ loved the Church, and giving yourself up so that she might bring glory to God by her obedience?

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

1. A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
2. No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
3. The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
4. Once a mother, always a mother.
5. Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
6. All women make choices of no return.
7. Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
8. The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
9. Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
10. The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

Submission and sacrifice are tough topics for women.  A few years ago, I led a weekend retreat for an adult ministry and ended up using the word submission as it appeared in one of the Scriptures we were using for a different purpose.  Though it was totally off-point, a Q&A exploded upon the scene and the word submission expanded into a full-blown discussion.  Submission and Sacrifice are pressure-cooker words and I’d argue that it’s because we begin at the wrong starting point.

Of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood, Number 9 is ‘Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.'”

They aren’t bad words for any of us.

But Submission and Sacrifice are too often presented as words of authority and control, of one person’s will ruling over another.

In truth, however, Submission and Sacrifice are words of love. 

That’s what the Scriptures say.

In evangelical Christian circles, a great debate has arisen about the “eternal subordination of the Son (Jesus) to the Father.”  (Translated for real human beings, these evangelical theologians posit that the Father is in control, the Son Jesus always submits, there is a hierarchy where the Father rules, this is the pattern from eternity past, and it will continue into eternity future.  Therefore women should get used to the fact that this pattern means women will be in submission and subordinate to authorities as men for all eternity.)

Personally, I think theirs is a human-derived and grave error, going wrong from a wrong starting point: power.  Subordination, like Submission and Sacrifice, is a word that makes Jesus appear to be in a station beneath that of the Father, and His position that of under the thumb of the Father when nothing could be farther from the Truth.

All of these (Submission, Sacrifice, and Subordination), as words of love, paint a picture of beauty in a relationship of love within the Godhead in which no one is exerting authority or control…as a tug of war…between conflicting wills. 

Instead, there is an excellence and perfection in unity of mind and purpose.  There is a common will and a shared goal.  These words, then, are ancient words of love that existed in the Godhead, words of love indicating a free will to shoulder more of the burden for the sake of the other.  Eternal Sacrifice.

If more of us earned submission by virtue of our love than demanded submission by means of our authority, we’d bear God’s image in far truer resemblance.

While I could write volumes on this and make everyone angry with me, I’d rather let God’s Word speak for itself on the issue of submission, sacrifice, and yes, even subordination.  Think of these words as ancient words of love as you Research, Reflect, and Respond.

Research:

• Genesis 1:26 Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
• John 1:3 Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. …10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.
• 1 Corinthians 8:6 yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom are all things, and we exist for Him; and one Lord, Jesus Christ, by whom are all things, and we exist through Him.
• Hebrews 2:10 For it was fitting for Him, for whom are all things, and through whom are all things, in bringing many sons to glory, to perfect the author of their salvation through sufferings.
• John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 17 “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him.
• John 10:17 The reason my Father loves me is that I lay down my life– only to take it up again. 18 No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down and authority to take it up again. This command I received from my Father.”…29 “My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. 30 “I and the Father are one.”
• John 15:9 “Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. 10 “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love. 11 “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. 12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. 13 “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. 14 “You are My friends, if you do what I command you. 15 “No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.

Reflect: 

• In Creation, who made mankind: Father, Son, or both?  With equal authority?  Equally in practice and outcome?  Who responded to whose will?
• When God sent Jesus to die for the sins of the human world, was the Father condemning Jesus to incarnation and to death apart from the will of the Son?  Whose will was done when Jesus came and when Jesus died?
• Imagine for a moment that the Father sent an unwilling Son to die for us.  Is that a picture of love?  Or a picture of brutality?
• Did the Father sacrifice anything to send Jesus to die?  Who submitted to the Father’s will?
• What is the connection between love and sacrifice and submission?
• Most of our views of subordination come from the world of work or from a power framework.  It’s no wonder we find the concept of subordination a difficult one. One notable exception we can relate to is that of a family.  In a loving family (acknowledging that some of you did not come from ones that fit that description) what kind of relationship would parents have to their children?  What kind of relationship would children have to their parents?  Does this confer an status of a child’s inferiority to one’s parents even into adulthood?  Or is the bond of love–in such a family–a bond that helps adult children to love and care for their parents because their parents loved and cared for them when they were little children?  What ought to make a parent’s treatment of a child adapt as children go from infancy to adulthood?  Did a child’s humanity change or simply mature?  How does a parent feel seeing a child mature into a kind, talented, diligent, considerate, and generous adult?
• Another helpful picture to reframe subordination, submission and sacrifice in terms of love would be a doorway wide enough for only one.  You don’t know what is on the other side of the door.  What would love do?  Lead the way through the one-person opening to protect those behind or would love send the children and women first to see what happens to them?  Leadership doesn’t need to be a power play.  It can be a sacrifice of love.

Respond:

Are you a man?  Look at the way you treat those around you.  Does love characterize your actions?  Do you earn submission by your loving protection of those in your midst?  How do you wield power?  What is your attitude toward power and love?  Which one is a sign of genuine strength?

Are you a woman?  Look at the way you treat those around you.  Does love characterize your actions?  Do you submit to the loving protection of parents, your husband, or those who lead through the one-person opening in the wall for your safety?  If you have children, do you protect your children in that same loving way?  What types of things make you bristle at words like submission, sacrifice and subordination?  Write down your thoughts on: “Those words make me feel like womanhood is _(fill in the blank)_.”  Bring that to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to show you Jesus’ view, in love and truth.

Are you a pastor?  Look at the way you treat those around you.  Does love characterize your actions?  Do you earn submission by your loving protection of those in your midst?  Are you all about power and control?  Would those in positions of responsibility under your authority say that you are all about power and control?  What types of things keep you from pursuing submission, sacrifice and subordination as words of love?  If the Father treated you the way you treat others, would you know the fullness of joy, the freedom of worship as living sacrifice, and the happiness of fruitful service?  Do you lay down your life for the sake of others?

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood

1. A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
2. No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
3. The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
4. Once a mother, always a mother.
5. Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
6. All women make choices of no return.
7. Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
8. The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
9. Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
10. The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

Number 8 of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood is:

The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while simultaneously honoring the men in her life.

Tightrope walking may also be called funambulism, but it’s easier said than done and sometimes not much fun in today’s Christian landscape.

Keeping your balance in the Christian life is perhaps more difficult for women than it is for men.  Arguably, womanhood requires keeping a Christian ministry balance in both horizontal (with men) and in vertical (with God) ways.

Every tightrope walker needs a few important things:

1. Maintaining the center
2. Staying focused
3. Footing as friction
4. Balancing tools

* * *

Maintaining the center:  What is our center, or rather, Who?  If you said “Jesus,”  you’re absolutely right.  He is our center.  Everything we do is centered around following Him, obeying Him, and doing His will.  When we’re centered, we’re less likely to be twisted and turned off our narrow way and we are able to walk it without falling.

Staying focused: This another key because distraction and discouragement are two of our adversary’s primary weapons against us.  If Satan cannot discourage us away from the centrality of God’s tasks, our adversary will try to convince us to pay attention to other things, too.  How is it possible to stay focused when so many things in church try to pull us off the tightrope?  Things like politics, other people’s expectations, selfish priorities, and for women (and men), feminism and the reaction against it–they all serve to twist our balance and throw us off kilter.  We spend so much energy fighting each other, we often have little stamina left to actually contend together for the sake of the Gospel.

Footing as friction: It may seem counterintuitive, but the friction we get also serves to give us traction.  It helps us to cling to what the Truth is.  When we have a toehold on the narrow way of Truth, we won’t slip so easily.  In fact, it’s the crags and crevices, the bumpy parts and jagged edges which serve to make it possible to climb.  I think about the two men who recently climbed the 3,000 foot granite cliff on El Capitan in Yosemite National Park using only their hands and feet and a safety rope.  One of the climbers’ mothers was reported to say that theirs is , “[A] deep, abiding, lifelong friendship, built over suffering on the wall together over six years.”  It’s not just folk wisdom that says if a mountain was smooth, you couldn’t climb it.  Without friction we could not walk and we could not run.  With reduced friction, like on sheets of ice, our steps must be smaller and our stride slower to avoid slipping.

Friction, though it makes the work harder in one sense, is the very force that also makes our walk and work possible.

Balancing tools:  For the Christian woman seeking to honor both Christ and the men in her life with their rules of Christian engagement, it’s important to have the necessary balancing tools of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God, and lots of prayer.  The Holy Spirit, close to our heart and our center of faith, uses the full Word of God and lots of prayer to prevent the rotational inertia and angular acceleration which could twist and turn the Christian woman off her walk.  When my husband honors Christ with respect to himself, he is also honoring Christ’s will for me.  Jesus wouldn’t tell my husband something different as my “one-flesh-husband” than what Jesus tells me.  So when we cling to one another in marriage, and we cling to Christ together, I can obey Jesus by obeying what Jesus told my husband.  It takes two feet to stand steady and to walk with purpose.  It’s how we work together in love, and do God’s will in total unity.

Research:

• Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
• Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God…21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
• Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.  19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
• 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
• John 17:18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. 20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Reflect:

• How does a focus on dividing the marriage on the issue of headship (between head and not-head) undermine the “one flesh” cause of unity in marriage?
• Take an Oreo and put it under a napkin.  Which led the way, the cookie or the filling?  Or was it the hand that did the important action?  How might this apply to the calling on a woman’s life to submit in marriage and submit to Christ?  How is it possible to do both?
• If my husband and I are of one mind in obeying God, does it really matter (in practice) which one is “the head” leading us both toward obedience?  Or by the hand of God and the headship of Christ, are we both working toward it, individually and together?
• When is it helpful to have one person leading the way and another one willingly following?
• How does a focus on dividing the Church between men and women, leaders and followers, pastors and congregations, authority and submission undermine our ability to work together?
• When we are unified, all of us submitted to Christ, how does that keep us balanced and let all our energies result in balanced forward movement instead of the unsteady side-to-side of a balancing act?
• Try balancing on one foot.  Now try two.  How is the human body designed?  What is the best way to achieve stability?
• Try walking with two feet.  Now try walking with one.  What must happen to the one foot in order to make progress?  It must alter its contact with ….what?

Respond:

Are you a man?  How’s your center?  Is Jesus there?  How’s your balance and your footing?  What about friction: are there any potential stumbling blocks impeding the forward progress of the women in your life with respect to the Gospel and the Kingdom of God?  Or is the friction causing you to cling to the Word for wisdom?  Are you married?  What would it look like to encourage your wife in obedience to Christ and for you to sacrifice for her?

Are you a woman?  How’s your center?  Is Jesus there?  How’s your balance and your footing?  What about friction: are there any ways in which you are perpetuating division by your actions?  Are you married or working toward marriage in the future?  If so, would your spouse or intended say that you are honoring your relationship with him?  Would he say that you are doing God-honoring things and using God-honoring ways in your obedience to Christ?  Is it possible to do all the right things in all the wrong ways?  How might your balancing tool of the Word of God, the Holy Spirit, and prayer help you to maintain your center and watch your life and doctrine closely?

Are you a pastor?  How’s your center?  Is Jesus there?  How’s your balance and your footing?  Where is the friction in your church?  Are there any ways in which you are causing division by your policies, programs, or actions?  How might your views of authority be revised by thinking of your church as requiring both feet for proper balance and forward movement?  How might cutting one foot short be hampering your balance, limiting your stride, and preventing growth of your church?  How might you view friction positively and use it to help your whole congregation climb higher?

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

1. A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
2. No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
3. The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
4. Once a mother, always a mother.
5. Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
6. All women make choices of no return.
7. Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
8. The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
9. Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
10. The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

Over 2 decades ago, Time Magazine featured a cover asking, “Why Are Men and Women Different?” The featured subtitle was, “It isn’t just upbringing.  New studies show they are born that way.”

For many of us, our immediate thought was, “Duh” or “Ya think?”  Because we know the Undeniable Truth of Womanhood #7: Biology Affirms What the Bible Teaches. Men and women are different because even though (together) we complete one species, we were two separate creative acts of God.  Adam was created first from the dust of the earth and then, Eve was built from him.  That’s what the Bible teaches.

Why?  Because it was important for redemptive history.

It’s why it took both Adam and Eve’s eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil for their eyes to be opened.  In the scope of redemptive history, if Eve hadn’t come from Adam, then Christ’s forgiveness wouldn’t extend to women, too.  I’m ok with Eve being made from Adam since I want to share in the grace of Christ for salvation like all Adam’s descendants do.

Yes, I’m a Creationist.  And I believe the rest of the Bible too.  Women and men are not exactly alike and a woman’s identity, her womanhood, flows from having been built from man.  She’s Adam’s perfect complement.  Together, we make a perfect pair.

I sometimes marvel at the level of coincidence one must acknowledge when adhering to the idea of man’s ORIGIN from evolution alone. 

Women know how hard it is to find a good man even knowing what to look for, in a confined space like earth.  Let’s say you had the whole universe to search for someone who was your suitable reproductive mate among all the primates, especially one to produce offspring.  It’d take even longer.

 It’d be like “Where’s Waldo?” on steroids and without a hat to help you find the guy.

For me, the hardest thing for evolutionists to overlook is the idea of male and female in both the Animal Kingdom and Plant Kingdom.  In this graphic (below) just imagine how miraculous it is that each of these life forms have male and female.  Did they start male and female, evolving lions and peacocks (for example) from both sex branches?  There is no third sex, fourth sex, or undeclared in the bunch.  Why would evolution settle in on only two sexes for reproduction?  To me, this is the biggest stumbling block evolutionists must answer before I would even think of questioning the simplest solution: God made them that way.  Biology affirms this.

Research:

Genesis 1:20 And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky.” 21 So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22 God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” 23 And there was evening, and there was morning– the fifth day. 24 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. 25 God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” (italics added)

Reflect:

• When God created Adam and Eve, He made them to be image bearers and to rule.  When He blessed them, He said, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.  Rule over.”  (Genesis 1:27-28)  In the rest of the Animal Kingdom, does the male or female hunt and gather, or do both do it?
• What about humanity causes us to desire to rule over each other?
• How does biology affirm what the Bible teaches about “each according to their kinds” ?
• How does biology affirm what the Bible teaches about men and women with respect to the rest of the created order (environment)?
• In creating male and female, in what ways did God divide up the responsibilities for reproductive seasons?  Which one bears the offspring?  In which one does fertilization occur, even in the Plant Kingdom?  In the Animal Kingdom, which one sits on the nest, creates the den, lays the eggs, or births and nurses the offspring?
• For those females not in reproductive seasons, such as celibate singles, girls, and women past child-bearing years, what parts of the blessing ought women to use in bearing God’s image?

Respond:

Are you a man?  In Genesis 3:20 we read, “Now the man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living.”  Adam named his wife after the fall of man and before she was pregnant with Cain, their firstborn.  In households of husbands and wives, it is perfectly appropriate for men to assume a greater share of the “rule and subdue” part of God’s blessing of the one-flesh-team while the mother of children focuses on the “be fruitful and multiply” part.  What might this indicate about God’s view of single motherhood, “baby mamas,” and the rise in America of the disappearing father?  How ought this change your behavior toward women?  How might biology affirm that families need fathers, too, in order to have children who bear God’s image to the fullest human extent possible?  How does an engaged father on earth prepare our hearts for seeing our Father in heaven?  If you need to change something, now’s the time.

Are you a woman?  Bearing offspring is a blessing not a curse.  Therefore, it’s perfectly appropriate for women to embrace their season as mothers, as singles, and as post-childbearing women.  It doesn’t mean “use it or lose it” when it comes to the ruling and subduing part of the blessing.  See your life as a series of seasons in which you multiply God’s image in different ways.

Are you a pastor?  Teach men to be men and to accept responsibility for their offspring.  Allow women to be women in all those varying seasons which our reproductive years present.  Herding women into the nursery or the women’s ministry for praying for husbands is not helpful to women who have neither children nor a husband.  See them as full image bearers of God, armed with the Word to be fruitful in other ways, to multiply God’s image through teaching, preaching, and evangelism… and encourage them to be fully functioning ministers of God in the Church and in their workplaces.  God never withdrew the blessing from women and we should not either.

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

1. A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
2. No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
3. The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
4. Once a mother, always a mother.
5. Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
6. All women make choices of no return.
7. Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
8. The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
9. Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
10. The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

Of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood, #6 is top of mind for women in their child-bearing years:

All women make choices of no return.”

Women of child-bearing years face a fork in the road of womanhood where there is no going back.   

One can neither retreat back to the fork nor take both paths simultaneously and see where they end up before making a decision.  There is seldom a sign saying, “Wrong Way.”

It is indeed a test of faith.

This is not to say the choices form regrets or that they will even be regrets in the future, only that these choice cannot be undone or redone another way from the starting line.

From the moment a woman becomes pregnant, her life is changed.  Forever.  That life change exhibits itself in a domino effect of changes that last a lifetime and beyond because once a mother, always a mother.

There are few things in my life that have so dramatically changed me…in ways apart from my own will…to be changed.  My being born and my decision to follow Christ are the only two comparable events I can think of.  Born and born again.  They’re the only two that impact men in a similar fashion to how being pregnant changes a woman’s life.

Suddenly, a woman faces decisions such as whether to pursue a career outside the home, knowing it means leaving her children in someone else’s care, or to devote her time to work as mother inside the home, piecing together options to make everything work.  Women wrestle to find ways to do it all.

Why do women experience this but men do not? 

Part of it is cultural to be sure, but part of it, I believe, goes back to the way men and women were created.  We both received the blessings of God in the Garden of Eden, but outside of Eden, they pull women differently than men.  For Eve, being fruitful (fertile) and multiplying involved different outcomes than it did for Adam.  Only women bear children.  Yet the blessing of ruling, subduing, etc., still tug at a woman’s desire to be a full image bearer.

Therefore, women face decisions that men do not because we are tied to our children in a totally different way.  Those decisions may sound simple enough–especially to men who father but do not bear children–but frankly, these decisions are agonizing ones for women.

• All the temptations are there to avoid feeling vulnerable, knowing you’re at the mercy of someone else to provide for you, to trust that love will be enough not to leave you in the cold.  Culture says others can’t be trusted.  Look out for #1, especially when #1 is both mother and child.  To sacrifice self-reliance is tough.
• Temptations are there to put yourself ahead of the others in your family for the sake of your own personal happiness.  Mothering can be a thankless job, and often is.  To sacrifice personal fulfillment is hard.
• All the guilt arises from every corner–even if never stated–making many of us feel like we’re not contributing somehow either financially or sufficiently in our child’s childhood.  To sacrifice esteem and affirmation from others hurts.
• One’s mothering skills are under a microscope and “how the children turn out” seems to be more a function of mothering than fathering, though science says it’s both.  To sacrifice with society’s blame turned upon oneself as accountability for another human being is hard, especially when one is acutely aware of what one gave up to be a mother.
• In addition to that, many of us remember what it’s like not to be tied to a child.  We find ourselves secretly longing for our pre-pregnancy days when our lives were as simple as men’s, and our bodies didn’t look like Mom.  To sacrifice simplicity and appearance is brought to mind daily and all it takes is a mirror and a memory.

The concept of sacrifice calls out to us from behind every tree, under every rock, and from every corner of our lives…and if it isn’t painful, is it truly a sacrifice?

Sacrifice, it is so often accompanied by pain!  But do we want the pain?  Sometimes necessity requires a woman to make choices she doesn’t really want to make.  Sometimes her personality is at conflict with the choice she’d prefer.

One of the hardest things for me was the decision to stay at home with my kids while they were young.  I took one path and it led places I wouldn’t have anticipated.   Each time a fork presented itself and I thought that finally, I would be back on my way to Careersville, some major event or crisis occurred and I was back to putting others first, if I could, because that’s what I was taught that moms do.

Sacrifice is part of making choices of no return.  It won’t look the same for every woman, but it will be sacrifice nonetheless.   It is this truth that prompted my short series of thinking aloud about the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood.  I became aware that things are not that different for my daughter now than when I was her age and had children.

Research the idea of sacrifice:

2 Samuel 24:15-25, particularly verse 24 But the king [David] replied to Araunah, “No, I insist on paying you for it. I will not sacrifice to the LORD my God burnt offerings that cost me nothing.”

1 John 4:10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Romans 12:1 I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 3 For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

Philippians 2:1 If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Reflect:

• How does sacrifice honor God?
• How are love and sacrifice connected?
• How might the connection between love and sacrifice encourage you when called to sacrifice your needs, desires, and dreams for someone else?
• Will all sacrifice look alike or will each person’s sacrifice look different?
• Once an animal is sacrificed, in the Old Testament days, was that animal able to come back from the dead?  In what way did sacrifice teach important lessons about sin, responsibility, and love?

Respond:

Are you a man?  How might you respond to the notion of the sacrifices women make in your life?  How might you encourage the women who have sacrificed to make your path easier?  Find ways to thank your mother, your sisters, your neighbors, your friends, your wife, or your daughters for the sacrifices you see them making for the good of others.

Are you a woman?  Perhaps the greatest reassurance is that you’re not alone.  Remind yourself that even if the decisions are permanent, they can be blessed as well.  Sometimes the decision’s consequences last for a season and can be modified to accommodate different life stages.  The decision isn’t retracted but it grows as the egg and the chrysalis seasons pass, and you emerge as a butterfly with all the winged freedom you remember.  Even if you have no children of your own, you can find ways of thanking the women in your life who encouraged you during the years of sacrifice we all make.

Are you a pastor?  Teach about sacrifice and its connection to love.  You’ll encourage men and women to look outside of themselves and the world will be a better place for it.

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

1. A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
2. No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
3. The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
4. Once a mother, always a mother.
5. Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
6. All women make choices of no return.
7. Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
8. The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
9. Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
10. The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.

I don’t want to think this, but perhaps I’m the only woman in the world who really doesn’t like Proverbs 31 because it has been the #2 most misused and #1 guilt-tripping passage about women in the Bible.

It’s been used as defining some sort of religious superwoman before there were superwomen.  Until the feminist movement tried to convince us we could all be superwomen who bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let our husband forget he’s a man like the 1980s Enjoli ad says.  The “24 hour woman” who does it all and apparently needs no sleep.  Oh, and in her spare time after working her tail off, raises perfect children who play soccer and a dozen other sports, are prodigies of music and art, and after being National Merit Scholars become Nobel Peace Prize winners.  What a crock!

Of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

Undeniable Truth #5 is ‘Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.'”

In a recent Chicago Tribune perspective, Tina Rodia writes, “Not a day goes by when I’m not reading another headline arguing that women can have it all, or more accurately, why they can’t.”  And the column explores “how the idea of ‘having it all’ makes women feel terrible about themselves.”  Rodia explains how women cannot be so narrowly defined as professional mothers, career women.  Thank you, modern feminism, for narrowly defining womanhood as super- womanhood for the rest of us.

Feminism didn’t invent superwomen, it just secularized the concept.  It took theologians pointing to Proverbs 31 to initiate that movement and define superwomen as super-duper in the home.  Never mind that this is an epilogue to the book of Proverbs, basically putting flesh on (personifying and applying) wisdom that is exalted in the prologue and throughout the rest of the book.

Compare Proverbs 3:13-18 with Proverbs 31.

Proverbs 3:13 Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, 14 for she is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. 15 She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. 17 Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. 18 She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.

Proverbs 31:1 10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 13 She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 15 She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. 18 She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. 19 In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. 20 She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. 21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. 25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. 26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. 27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: 29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

See what I mean? 

Unfortunately this has become the yardstick by which theological men measure women. 

If women don’t like women’s ministry or hanging out in the nursery doting on children, we’re a problem, not a solution to other problems. 

Is a wife like what we see in Proverbs 31 a good thing?  Sure!

But it’s not an excuse for men to expect their wives to be perfect superwomen unless those men are respected at the city gate as moral, upstanding, wealth-producing, and intellectual supermen who remember to praise such a wife publicly for her fear of the Lord and using what God gave her to use for the benefit of others.

Men cannot do it all.  Women cannot do it all. 

It’s why we’re better together and we’re all better off dealing in reality where no man is superman, women are not superwomen, but gaining wisdom as fear of the Lord is good for all of us.

Research:  Read back over Proverbs 31 and identify traits of wisdom contained there, personified in the wife of noble character, traits which apply to men and women alike.

Job 28:12 “But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell? 13 Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living. 14 The deep says, ‘It is not in me’; the sea says, ‘It is not with me.’ 15 It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver. 16 It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires. 17 Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold. 18 Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies. 19 The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold. 20 “Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell? 21 It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds of the air. 22 Destruction and Death say, ‘Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.’ 23 God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, 24 for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens. 25 When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, 26 when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, 27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it. 28 And he said to man, ‘The fear of the Lord– that is wisdom, and to shun evil is understanding.'”

Reflect:

• How has modern feminism been “bought into” by both men and women, transforming a woman’s having it all into a woman’s attempt at doing it all?
• How is this a recipe for sleep deprivation, loss of self-worth in womanhood, and depression?
• How does doing it all differ from slavery?
• If “fear of the Lord is wisdom,” what is the number 1 thing a woman should do in order to be the wife or woman of noble character?

Respond:

Are you a man?  Encourage the women in your life that they don’t have to do it all or be it all.  You love them because of who they are and not because of what they do.  Recognize the good things they do and praise them, whether that woman is your mother, your sister, your wife, or your daughter, etc.. They need your encouragement because culture dispirits women in many ways. Do your best not to find fault with their shortcomings as there’s probably a log in your eye somewhere.  Work hard.  Show grace.  And above all, Love since Love covers over a multitude of other stuff, including sin.

Are you a woman?  Let go of what is not real.  The feminist movement appeals to the inner perfectionist present in many women.  Perfection is not possible this side of heaven or apart from Christ.  Superwomen and Wonderwomen don’t exist except in the comics…ones written by men.  Embrace the freedom of reality.  You can strive for excellence in many areas, but you need not be it all to all people, or do it all, all the time.  You are not the Messiah.  You are not perfect.  But you can be wise by getting to know the One who is.  Get to know Jesus and His grace.  Do what God created you to do and trust Him with the rest.

Are you a pastor?  You can really help out the women in your flock by not expecting them to be perfect.  By encouraging them and praising them for what a benefit they are to your congregation, like Paul did at the end of Romans, whether in women’s ministry, children’s ministry or as teachers equipped by God for a broader base.  In your reaction to modern feminism, neither embrace the big lie of feminism nor deny the truth that God intends for women to serve Him too.  By way of reaction, restricting women (beyond the point God might) brings no glory to Him.  Dig deep into your feelings about working with women, imagine them as your biological sisters, and dig deep into the Scriptures and ask yourself if you can contend for the Gospel with women alongside you…just like Paul did.

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

1. A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
2. No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
3. The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
4. Once a mother, always a mother.
5. Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
6. All women make choices of no return.
7. Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
8. The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
9. Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
10. The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.