Undeniable #8-Keeping Your Balance

Number 8 of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood is:

tightrope color w words The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while simultaneously honoring the men in her life.

Tightrope walking may also be called funambulism, but it’s easier said than done and sometimes not much fun in today’s Christian landscape.

Keeping your balance in the Christian life is perhaps more difficult for women than it is for men. Arguably, womanhood requires keeping a Christian ministry balance in both horizontal (with men) and in vertical (with God) ways.

Every tightrope walker needs a few important things:

Maintaining the center
Staying focused
Footing as friction
Balancing tools

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Maintaining the center: What is our center, or rather, Who? If you said “Jesus,” you’re absolutely right. He is our center. Everything we do is centered around following Him, obeying Him, and doing His will. When we’re centered, we’re less likely to be twisted and turned off our narrow way and we are able to walk it without falling.

Staying focused: This another key because distraction and discouragement are two of our adversary’s primary weapons against us. If Satan cannot discourage us away from the centrality of God’s tasks, our adversary will try to convince us to pay attention to other things, too. How is it possible to stay focused when so many things in church try to pull us off the tightrope? Things like politics, other people’s expectations, selfish priorities, and for women (and men), feminism and the reaction against it–they all serve to twist our balance and throw us off kilter. We spend so much energy fighting each other, we often have little stamina left to actually contend together for the sake of the Gospel.

Footing as friction: It may seem counterintuitive, but the friction we get also serves to give us traction. It helps us to cling to what the Truth is. When we have a toehold on the narrow way of Truth, we won’t slip so easily. In fact, it’s the crags and crevices, the bumpy parts and jagged edges which serve to make it possible to climb. I think about the two men who recently climbed the 3,000 foot granite cliff on El Capitan in Yosemite National Park using only their hands and feet and a safety rope. One of the climbers’ mothers was reported to say that theirs is , “[A] deep, abiding, lifelong friendship, built over suffering on the wall together over six years.” It’s not just folk wisdom that says if a mountain was smooth, you couldn’t climb it. Without friction we could not walk and we could not run. With reduced friction, like on sheets of ice, our steps must be smaller and our stride slower to avoid slipping.

Friction, though it makes the work harder in one sense, is the very force that also makes our walk and work possible.

Balancing tools: For the Christian woman seeking to honor both Christ and the men in her life with their rules of Christian engagement, it’s important to have the necessary balancing tools of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God, and lots of prayer. The Holy Spirit, close to our heart and our center of faith, uses the full Word of God and lots of prayer to prevent the rotational inertia and angular acceleration which could twist and turn the Christian woman off her walk. When my husband honors Christ with respect to himself, he is also honoring Christ’s will for me. Jesus wouldn’t tell my husband something different as my “one-flesh-husband” than what Jesus tells me. So when we cling to one another in marriage, and we cling to Christ together, I can obey Jesus by obeying what Jesus told my husband. It takes two feet to stand steady and to walk with purpose. It’s how we work together in love, and do God’s will in total unity.

Research:

Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. 5:1 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God…21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
John 17:18 As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world. 19 For them I sanctify myself, that they too may be truly sanctified. 20 “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22 I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23 I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24 “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25 “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26 I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”

Reflect:

How does a focus on dividing the marriage on the issue of headship (between head and not-head) undermine the “one flesh” cause of unity in marriage?
Take an Oreo and put it under a napkin. Which led the way, the cookie or the filling? Or was it the hand that did the important action? How might this apply to the calling on a woman’s life to submit in marriage and submit to Christ? How is it possible to do both?
If my husband and I are of one mind in obeying God, does it really matter (in practice) which one is “the head” leading us both toward obedience? Or by the hand of God and the headship of Christ, are we both working toward it, individually and together?
When is it helpful to have one person leading the way and another one willingly following?
How does a focus on dividing the Church between men and women, leaders and followers, pastors and congregations, authority and submission undermine our ability to work together?
When we are unified, all of us submitted to Christ, how does that keep us balanced and let all our energies result in balanced forward movement instead of the unsteady side-to-side of a balancing act?
Try balancing on one foot. Now try two. How is the human body designed? What is the best way to achieve stability?
Try walking with two feet. Now try walking with one. What must happen to the one foot in order to make progress? It must alter its contact with ….what?

Respond:

Are you a man? How’s your center? Is Jesus there? How’s your balance and your footing? What about friction: are there any potential stumbling blocks impeding the forward progress of the women in your life with respect to the Gospel and the Kingdom of God? Or is the friction causing you to cling to the Word for wisdom? Are you married? What would it look like to encourage your wife in obedience to Christ and for you to sacrifice for her?

Are you a woman? How’s your center? Is Jesus there? How’s your balance and your footing? What about friction: are there any ways in which you are perpetuating division by your actions? Are you married or working toward marriage in the future? If so, would your spouse or intended say that you are honoring your relationship with him? Would he say that you are doing God-honoring things and using God-honoring ways in your obedience to Christ? Is it possible to do all the right things in all the wrong ways? How might your balancing tool of the Word of God, the Holy Spirit, and prayer help you to maintain your center and watch your life and doctrine closely?

Are you a pastor? How’s your center? Is Jesus there? How’s your balance and your footing? Where is the friction in your church? Are there any ways in which you are causing division by your policies, programs, or actions? How might your views of authority be revised by thinking of your church as requiring both feet for proper balance and forward movement? How might cutting one foot short be hampering your balance, limiting your stride, and preventing growth of your church? How might you view friction positively and use it to help your whole congregation climb higher?

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
Once a mother, always a mother.
Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
All women make choices of no return.
Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.