For those who have been abused, for their abusers, and indeed for all of us with sins small and great, we have this hope: Jesus Paid it All.

He paid for all the sins so repentant sinners can be free to receive His forgiveness.  His forgiveness makes it possible for us to be forgiving of those who harmed us.  It’s certainly not an easy or instantaneous action for us to have regarding those who have hurt us.

I wrote an in-depth article on Forgiveness a while back.  It might be worth a read if you’re struggling with the idea of forgiving those who hurt you.  After the summary page, there are two additional pages of deeper thoughts about the importance of forgiveness.

Knowing that Jesus paid it all, we can rest in Him, trusting in His justice and love.  For the abuse victim, there is forgiveness for sins we have committed and vindication (including payment for the wrongs committed against us) at which point justice is finally done.

For abusers, there is forgiveness extended, too.  Repenting of your sins, you will find that Jesus can make even the worst sinner whole.  Jesus made it certain that justice was done here, too.  Because He paid it all.

The hymn Jesus Paid it All expresses this situation well.

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”

Refrain:   Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

For nothing good have I
Whereby Thy grace to claim,
I’ll wash my garments white
In the blood of Calv’ry’s Lamb.

Refrain

And now complete in Him
My robe His righteousness,
Close sheltered ’neath His side,
I am divinely blest.

Refrain

Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.

Refrain

When from my dying bed
My ransomed soul shall rise,
“Jesus died my soul to save,”
Shall rend the vaulted skies.

Refrain

And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down
All down at Jesus’ feet.

Refrain

Why Didn’t God Stop the Abuser?

Among the million questions that come to mind for abuse victims, this is probably one of the foremost questions. 

When I get to heaven, I have a whole file of things that are unanswered questions…hard questions…things that were too big and too heavy to ever wrap my mind around.

Why does God allow evil at all?

I wonder sometimes: Maybe if I just keep nibbling at the edges of the truth, eventually, will I get to the core of it?  Here are a few of my nibbles:

• Suffering happens in this world, but it’s not because God designed it that way.  Everything God designed was five times good and very good.  In fact, it was perfect.
• Somehow for God to be Love and to be Just, He chose to make beings (humans and angels) who reason things out and have the ability to choose love and justice.  His perfection and His freedom to do as He wills means that this was God’s best and perfect choice to bring glory to Himself.
• Spiritual beings like angels chose too. For the choice to be real must mean there existed an alternative to be potentially selected as well.  Hence, evil existed as the anti-good.   The angels who chose to follow evil didn’t get an opportunity to repent.  No second chances for fallen angels.
• The Fall of Man brought about a whole host of evils for mankind—they are indeed Legion.
• Consequences wouldn’t be consequences if God preserved us from them all.  He’d be like one of those ineffective parents who promise consequences and never follow through.  God must allow the consequences for Him to be holy.
• The purpose of consequences isn’t to hurt or harm, it’s to help us learn to love, to do what is right, and to desire mercy and justice.
• People get hurt when people sin.  We hurt ourselves by our own sins.  We hurt others when we sin against God and neighbor.  God doesn’t like sin.  In fact, He hates it.
• When innocents are harmed, when the vulnerable are oppressed or injured, when loveless people intentionally inflict pain and suffering upon others, God is grieved.
• God is so grieved, in fact, that He did something about it.
• He sent Jesus.
• Jesus paid for our sins—those of little white lies and great big abusers.  All sins were heaped upon Jesus.  He received the punishment for the abuser.  He received the punishment for the liar.  He received the punishment for the con-artist.  He received the punishment for __(fill in the blank with any sin)__.  He paid it all.  Jesus paid it all.

I will continue my nibbling around the edges because the question of “Why me?” still remains unanswered.   And that is the question that is so very personal. 

I wish I had an answer for you.  I wish I had an answer for myself for all the difficulties God has seen me through.  “Jesus Paid it All” brings relief for the sins I commit and future judgment brings vindication for all the times I suffered unjustly.  But in the present day, all I can do is trust that God will walk with me, He never left me, the insults that were done against you and me are ones Jesus bore, too, and then we hold tight to that faith until the day God answers the hard questions showing how He was both loving and just all along–even in the darkest days we faced.

It is worth noting that many of the expressions of life after abuse revolve around self-image.  The abuse victim looks inward, seeing something far from the beautiful being God created.  It’s not that the beautiful being isn’t there, it’s that one’s perception of self has changed.  People question their own:

Value

Worth

Beauty

Definition of love

Intellect

Usefulness

Purpose

Power

All of these point to how abuse strips people of their identity…as children of God, made in His image.  Here is where the Gospel offers healing:

• Your value isn’t determined by what you were to others—it is determined by the price God paid to call you His beloved, now and forevermore.  (1 Peter 1:18-19)
• Your worth isn’t determined by what others think of you—it is determined by the importance God places upon your Image bearing.  He sees the important things hidden from view.  (Matthew 6:5-6)
• Your beauty is not determined by what you see in the mirror—it is determined by the inner man or woman that you are in your soul.  (1 Peter 3:3-4)
• Your definition of love isn’t determined by how people love you, sexual intimacy, or words—Love is defined by the God who IS love.  (1 John 4:7-21)
• Your intellect could neither prevent your being abused nor predispose you to that situation.  It is not a reflection on your wisdom.  Your intellect is a tool in God’s hands to help you to heal.  (1 Cor 1:20-31)
• Your usefulness in life was not tossed away by your being abused.  Your usefulness in life has been redirected to other more compassionate causes and in God’s hands, you will be fruitful beyond your imagining. (2 Cor 1:3-7)
• Your purpose in life was not to be an abuse victim.  Your purpose in life is to be an Overcomer, putting abuse in its place as a formative event to be conquered and to use the lessons learned to help others in addition to yourself. (John 15:2)
• Your power was not taken from you.  Your power needs to be recovered from the hidden recesses of your soul, protected and shielded by God’s hand…in that place where abusers could not touch the power of God in a Christ-follower (1 Peter 1:3-5). 

Abuse cannot take away anything that the Gospel cannot restore.  That’s because when you believe upon Jesus Christ, you become a new creation.  Not just the old broken one, patched up with some Krazy Glue.  A brand new being, full of the identity Christ gives you.  The type of identity that reflects God’s image.

Believe in Jesus Christ.

He is the key to finding your identity, even after abuse.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Look at yourself.  See yourself how God sees you.  Yes, you may feel weak and fragile on the outside. 

The treasure is on the inside. 

The treasure inside every believer is the priceless beauty of the light of Christ.  That is what God sees.

Anything you have power to do, you can because God is powerful in your life.  You are a cherished possession and someone God desires to bless.  Look to God with gratitude for the power He extends on your behalf.  Rejoice in your place as a beloved child of the Most High God.  Rejoice in the knowledge that Jesus died to save His Image shown beautifully in the heart of every repentant sinner.

It is the work of God that makes you a treasure.

Abuse changes a person.  That is one of the most difficult aspects.  There is a past hurt that cannot be explained rationally or excused away. It leaves behind someone who has been victimized by irrationally sinful and perverse acts.

There is a present change that exhibits itself in the way the victim views oneself and sees relationships in general.  There is a future ahead, but breaking out of past hurts and present perceptions is not an easy task.

When someone has been a victim of abuse, it affects the view one has of oneself. The person may become self-critical, self-doubting, insecure, fearful, isolated, and develop depression, emotional problems, physical illness, drug, alcohol or emotional dependency, be consumed with a feeling of powerlessness, and perhaps withdraw from real life into a virtual reality of the Internet in order to feel like one has a relationship that is safe.

The Gospel can counter all of that.  The forgiveness present in the Gospel of Jesus Christ acts as a healing agent.  Today, let’s look at the inward characteristics of the individual and tomorrow we will look at outward symptoms.

Where self-criticism ruled, one can be set free from a need for assigning or accepting blame.  John 8:30 Even as he spoke, many put their faith in him. 31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Where one doubts self, the Gospel says to trust Jesus who is faithful and loving.  John 14:1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.

Where insecurity gnaws away at one’s confidence, the Gospel reminds us that we are eternally secure in Jesus Christ.  Our confidence is in Him.  John 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. 29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.

To the person who is afraid, the Gospel says not to fear anything in this world. Matthew 10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

To the person who feels isolated and alone, the Gospel gives us a new community.  Ephesians 2:13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, 15 by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, 16 and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. 17 He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. 18 For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit. 19 Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, 20 built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone.

Today my prayer for you is that you will embrace the Gospel that heals.  May tomorrow’s joy be found in His pure light so that you will know the fullness of freedom, confidence, community, and faith.

Malachi 4:2 But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings.

In one of the early weeks of our Overcomer’s series, we mentioned that some things we never truly get over, but we do get through them.  This is one of those instances.

I’ve been trying to write this posting for over a week now.  I struggle knowing that I am ill-equipped to minister by experience in this topic; and greatly desiring to offer hope, I know that the Gospel can bring those plagued by histories of abuse through the painful journey from victim to victorious.

In my years on AllExperts, I’ve fielded dozens of questions from those abused by boyfriends, family members, church officials, co-workers, and strangers.  I’ve dealt with questions arising from a variety of kinds of abuse: domestic/workplace, emotional, physical, sexual, and verbal.

I’ve also answered questions from abusers who are wondering if there is any hope for them in the Gospel.  Some are writing between indictment and conviction.  Some are writing from death beds.  Some send questions from across the globe from where they initially victimized and left their victims.  Some have been right next door to the one they abused.

Each and every one of these questions has been painful to answer.  The very human part of me that recognizes the deep and scarring trauma that abuse inflicts wants to tell the abusers that there is no hope for them.  They’ll burn in hell and they deserve it.  That’s my flesh that feels outrage.

But the truth is: If the Gospel is not powerful enough to save abusers from hell and from living desperate and sinful lives of repeat offenses, the Gospel isn’t the Gospel. 

Jesus’ blood, in order to save any of us sinners, must be sufficient to save all who come to Him in repentance because His Word does not draw a line saying “These sinners are clean enough to go to heaven now, and these over here are beyond My ability to make clean.”

Abuse victims can find hope in the Gospel.  And so can abusers.

Perhaps some of you are reading this and thinking you’re all alone.  You think you’ve been abused, but you just keep telling yourself that you must have done something wrong, or that you deserved it.

No one deserves to be abused. 

No child.  No adult. 

No man.  No woman.  No boy.  No girl.

Abuse is not God’s design for relationships.  It’s the exact opposite of the love meant to characterize human interactions.

For a very good secular resource on abuse and help for the abused, please click here to find the Non-Profit Help Guide.  It’s quite thorough and very helpful.

I’d encourage you, if you believe you have been abused, to read through the questions and the warning signs. 

If you are under the age of 18, specific laws apply in many states for you to have special protections.  Tell a pastor, counselor, or your physician.  Mandatory reporting is there for your protection.

Over the next few days, I’d like to talk about how the Gospel can minister in the lives of abuse victims and their abusers.  Because the topic is weighty and so very sobering, I will probably intersperse days with Scripture photos for meditation in lieu of more writings for the healing of one who is Overcoming these things.

Hosea 6:3 Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.

Oh to say, I overcame and was found faithful!

This is what I hope for in a world that gives me every reason to give up. 

When life is dark and we wonder, “What is the point of all this?”;  when the very air we breathe feels oppressive; when we are depressed and see little hope for the future, Hosea urges from his prophetic pages,

Press on.”

We can almost hear him encouraging us like a marathon coach.  You can do it.  Keep going!  Overcome!  Be found faithful!

The sun will come out tomorrow and if it doesn’t, Jesus is coming to bring you home.  In the meantime, let us acknowledge the Lord.  Let us press on to acknowledge Him.

You see, whether the government is open or closed; whether the debt ceiling is raised or remains the same; whether I have health insurance or pay for healthcare as I go, my hope isn’t in anything this world has to offer.  It makes little difference.  If America careens toward division and demise, I still want to be found faithful… to God.  If it means I am ostracized, laughed at, or ridiculed, God will get the last laugh when He comes to judge.

I was thinking about this after Monday’s offering posted.  When Judah was carried off into captivity by the Babylonians, there were some in the tribe of Judah who had not turned from worshiping God.  Daniel was one of those.  Even in exile, he pressed on.  He was an overcomer.

Luke 18:7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?” 

I hope He’ll find it in me.  I hope He’ll find it in you.  Press on, Overcomer!

Rehoboam, do you know him? Probably not unless you study the Old Testament or have a fondness for Biblical history.  But there’s a really important and relevant lesson about division and decline to be learned from the life of this man.

2 Chronicles 10:6 Then King Rehoboam consulted the elders who had served his father Solomon during his lifetime. “How would you advise me to answer these people?” he asked. 7 They replied, “If you will be kind to these people and please them and give them a favorable answer, they will always be your servants.” 8 But Rehoboam rejected the advice the elders gave him and consulted the young men who had grown up with him and were serving him. 9 He asked them, “What is your advice? How should we answer these people who say to me, ‘Lighten the yoke your father put on us’? 10 The young men who had grown up with him replied, “Tell the people who have said to you, ‘Your father put a heavy yoke on us, but make our yoke lighter’– tell them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s waist. 11 My father laid on you a heavy yoke; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.'” 12 Three days later Jeroboam and all the people returned to Rehoboam, as the king had said, “Come back to me in three days.” 13 The king answered them harshly. Rejecting the advice of the elders, 14 he followed the advice of the young men and said, “My father made your yoke heavy; I will make it even heavier. My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.” 15 So the king did not listen to the people, for this turn of events was from God, to fulfill the word the LORD had spoken to Jeroboam son of Nebat through Ahijah the Shilonite.

Rehoboam’s father was Solomon, who started great with a request for wisdom and ended poorly with excesses, many foreign wives, and idolatry.  Because of King David (who was Solomon’s father), God pronounced that His judgment would not happen in Solomon’s lifetime.  (1 Kings 11:31-39)

But judgment would certainly happen and the cause of judgment was human sin.

It would result in a divided kingdom: North (Israel) and South (Judah).  As people abandoned their God, He left them to their own judgments and it would prove punishment enough to start God’s judgment process that would continue into captivity.

The kingdom, once unified under David’s and Solomon’s reigns, began its descent into division.  The 10 tribes of Israel hit the road for the north, one tribe (Levi—the priests) had no land allotted and the only tribe remaining as part of the south was Judah (out of which would come the Messiah).  All the tribes would experience God’s judgment, but Judah alone would be greatly humbled and eventually restored for the sake of David.

Rehoboam was the king under whose authority all this transpired. 

God not only allowed it.  God designed it for judgment against all the people who had left God behind in favor of human power and human rule.

Rehoboam was a foolish man whose arrogance gave him the false impression of his own greatness.  He was around 41 years old when he began to reign as king.  He rejected the genuine wisdom of other generations suggesting that treating people with kindness wins their hearts of willing service, and instead Rehoboam sought the advice of his political appointees and friends.  He rushed headlong into despotic measures that oppressed and alienated the 10 tribes.  The people in the 10 tribes rebelled and eventually left under the leadership of another.  The result was the Davidic Kingdom—once a world power with great respect and stature with the divine favor of God as His chosen people—was reduced to a humbled state of division and weakness, ultimately being taken over by Assyria (the fate of the northern tribes) and Babylon (taking Judah into captivity).

Do you see the similarities?  How do we in the United States overcome a similar division already underway before it leads to our demise?

First, we do not abandon God in the process.  We stand firm in our faith, looking to God for guidance.

Second, we pray for our leaders to make godly decisions that are generous, benevolent, and serve the people who elected them.  We pray against a spirit of selfishness, greed, idolizing power, signature achievements to make a name for the leader at the expense of the people, and arrogance in all its forms…whether red or blue.  We pray against the actions designed to harm other people, particularly the most vulnerable.  We pray that God will restore in His timing what is presently being divided by human and frankly, demonic means.  There is no excusing anyone who claims to follow Jesus for intentionally hurting innocents out of a vindictive spirit.

Mr. President.  Mr. Reid.  Mr. Boehner.  Mr. Cruz.  Ms. Pelosi. All of you CLAIM to follow Christ. 

Do you REALLY follow Him? This is the question I want each of you to seek God to answer. 

Who is the genuine follower?  The one who loves Jesus, loves and serves his neighbor and enemies, and the one who protects innocents, even sacrificing himself for them.

Third, we do what we can in our power to remind our elected officials that the Rehoboams of this world will have as their legacy the destruction of what was once good and honorable.  By their pride, they oppress those they took an oath to serve!

Fourth, we vote with our dollars against a media (and against all their advertisers) because they deny the truth.  They’ve already chosen sides and are doing propaganda instead of news.  Refuse to purchase products advertised on propaganda sources and write to the advertisers, send them emails, call them, and tell them that’s what you’re doing and ask for them to support media that are still telling the truth instead.   I’ve been set against JC Penney for a while now and I told them why.  Repeatedly.  Their persistence in leaving me, a loyal customer, behind is leading to their ruin.  (Not because of the power of Barb, but because there are a million “me’s” out there doing exactly what I’m doing).  JC Penney knows what they need to do to earn back my support. I stand for something and will not return until they acknowledge they’re reaping what they’re sowing.  Mistreat loyal people and they’ll leave.  Rehoboam learned that one.

I stand for something.  How about you, my readers?

We can effect a change by demanding that our news media—protected by the First Amendment—honor the reason they’re protected by our laws.  A free nation needs a free press. 

If they won’t tell me the truth, I’ll boycott them with every dollar I spend and will support those who will inform me with the facts. I’ll tell advertisers why I must leave them behind so long as they support a media that acts dishonestly and peddles lies.  And then I stand firm.

Rehoboam presided over the divisions that led to the demise of a nation.  Far be it from us to fail to learn the lessons of history.  Tell your elected representatives at all levels that you expect better from them, particularly those who call themselves Christian.

Frankly, negotiation is only as good as the love and truth behind it.

Jesus wouldn’t compromise with the devil, but He would stand firm for the truth and love.  He will win out in the end.  Let’s stand firm with Jesus.  It’s how we’ll overcome.  Even if our country heads the direction of demise at least we will have had no share in it.

1 John 3:8 He who does what is sinful is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the beginning. The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work.

James 4:13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.

A mist. 

I was thinking about this verse as I went over to the local forest preserve to take photos today.  There was a thick mist on the lake and in the surrounding landscape, the spider webs among the spent milkweed and grasses hung heavy, laden with dew.  In a few short hours, the mist would be gone, burned away by the October sun.

If our lives are like that, why do we become preoccupied with meaningless stuff? 

As Overcomers, we need to examine our priorities because even items of importance seem to take on larger-than-lives of their own, ramped up by a media that hypes controversy and dissention.  Yes, there are things that are imperatives.  Yes, planning is good.

But sometimes, we forget that we are a mist.

We forget that 100 years from now, if the earth even exists, whether the government is “shut down” for 2 weeks or a month won’t really have mattered all that much.

However, the way we treated others during our misty moments can change a whole trajectory of a life and a nation.  As Overcomers, we look for ways to bless people.  As Overcomers, we seek ways to identify with and minimize the pain of others.  We look for ways of living our “risen life” because the days are short.

Sometimes the days are shorter than what we’d planned. 

I didn’t realize that my camera battery was almost spent when I went out today.  I’d planned on a morning of fun photography and really only had 20 minutes before the camera stopped working.  Oh well.  We plan.  We organize.  But the future belongs to God alone.

My priorities changed and I found myself with opportunities galore to be a blessing to others…the women from Germany looking for where to park, the cashier at the store, my family, etc.  Yes and you for whom I write daily.  The days are short and can be humbly filled with blessing.  Indeed these are the lessons of the mist because Overcomers know the future promised by God.  We practice now what we will fully experience as our risen life… when the mist fades… and we see Jesus face-to-face.  Go forth today and be a blessing!