Undeniable Truth #1 Complete Womanhood

This might seem like a no-brainer, but Christian men can still be real men without marriage. They also can be true Christians. In fact, in some areas of Christianity, one is considered a better Christian man if one is a celibate single man. Like the Pope or priests.

If a man can be complete and Christian without some woman as his wife, why cannot a single woman be complete and Christian, too?

Nuns aren’t nuns because they couldn’t get a man, as if there’s a pun waiting to happen on the word none. Nuns aren’t nuns so they can run away from their problems like Fraulein Maria in The Sound of Music. Nuns become nuns because they adore Christ. He is their perfect man, so to speak.

So the first of the Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood is: A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.

OK, where’s that in the Bible, you might ask?

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Women bear the image of God. At Creation, Eve bore it perfectly because that’s how God made her. She was a complete woman, even before consummation of a marriage with Adam because she, like he, was created perfect. Yes, they were perfect for each other, but more than that, they were perfect, period. Sure, sin marred that image and it was no longer perfect, but in Christ we are forgiven and healed.

In Christ, women bear God’s image in a complete sense (fullness) awaiting final perfection (in heaven).

Colossians 1:28 We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ…2:6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ. 9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form, 10 and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.

Christian women, living by faith in Christ, have been given fullness (i.e. completion) in Him.

Are single women apart from Christ complete?

I’d argue “No.” Just as single men apart from Christ fail the completion test of being forgiven. Without faith, not one of us is complete and none of the unforgiven are being made perfect.

Furthermore, I’d posit that one of the reasons why single women of the world have been troubled throughout the ages is that culture has made them to feel inferior. This is not God’s doing.

Women who remained unmarried were historically dependent upon others financially whether on the graces of their parents or sent out to fend for themselves as the chronic poor, as beggars or prostitutes, or as those dependent upon the Church (which became a refuge for widows and orphans). Dependence is humbling and implies a degree of being incomplete, imperfect, and wanting. By definition, one who is dependent is not in control of one’s own destiny.

Men who had property ownership rights and inheritance privileges were in a position to feel independent, whereas in much of the Ancient Near East and in Western countries, women could not even earn their own livelihood in socially acceptable ways. All of this is a bit of an illusion since we are all dependent upon God, in reality, and we are not “like God” with total independence and open eyes like the serpent said.

Genesis 3:4 “You will not surely die,” the serpent said to the woman. 5 “For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”

Independence from God is the source of many of our problems.

Therefore the urge to marry was biological in one sense and yet it became a socially acceptable alternative to being complete in Christ. If a husband could provide, why depend on God? Women looked to men to satisfy what only Christ can.

Dependence upon a Being one cannot see (God) is harder than dependence upon a being one can monitor (a husband). And yet completion is not possible…with a man… the way it is from Christ.

Completion cannot be achieved through marriage, only through Christ.

Research: Take some time to ponder the idea of Christ as the Church’s bridegroom with the idea of completion and perfection (using the Scriptures below).

The Apostle Paul writes: 1 Corinthians 7:8 “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

Reflect: If you’re single, ask yourself about desire for a husband and why. If you’re married, ask yourself about where your trust is grounded, in your husband or in God. Ask yourselves about whether you believe a Christian woman can be complete even if she is not married.

Respond: If you’re a single or divorced woman, find your completion in being forgiven by Christ. Pray and acknowledge your perfectly good desire for human companionship yet your wholehearted devotion to the perfect Man Jesus whether God ever brings an earthly “Mr. Right” into or back into your life. Trust that God does love you–more than you realize now–and He knows how this all fits in His plan. Bring your sadness to Him and ask Him to redeem it. He is faithful. Ask God for ways you can let your singleness be a powerful ministry tool for reaching others who need to find completion in Christ alone. Maybe even pray that God will grow a sense of thankfulness in the places where you’re presently saddest.

If you’re a married woman, do a double check about who you’re trusting. Pray and give thanks for the husband God has given you, whether your marriage feels like it’s rockin’ or on the rocks. Pray for your husband and if he is presently in the unforgiven category, ask God to use your good behavior to help your helpmate to lay down the burden of total independence and to trust in Him. It’s hard for men to view themselves apart from their problem-solving nature. Depending on God is hard for them. They need your prayers.

If you’re a pastor, revisit your church’s ministries. Do they provide the kind of teachings that welcome singles, divorced, as well as married people with or without children? What kind of affirmation can you give to all, teaching that completion in Christ is not restricted to the married with children? If your ministries are family-focused, pray and ask God for ways you can hold onto the good without creating an environment of sadness for those who are missing that family component. How might your messages teach that our views of identity need not be shaped so much by the shifting sands of culture as by the solid rock of God’s Word?

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Ten Undeniable Truths of Womanhood:

A Christian woman is still a complete woman, even without marriage.
No man can teach a woman what is the truth of womanhood, even Christian womanhood.
The Bible clearly outlines what womanhood is…and it isn’t always synonymous with motherhood.
Once a mother, always a mother.
Superwomen don’t exist except in the comics.
All women make choices of no return.
Biology affirms what the Bible teaches.
The Christian woman must learn to artfully balance following Christ while honoring the men in her life.
Submission and sacrifice aren’t bad words for women.
The Lord’s maidservants bring glory to Christ by their obedience.